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A Personal Inventory
I am prone to think I have never been properly estimated. It has always been an over/under thing. I am either grossly overrated or annoyingly underrated, depending on who is doing the rating and on what basis.
Cases in point…
Overrated
I just returned from a national conference where I was chosen to present a course on ethics and AI. I had two co-presenters: a wonderfully-gifted attorney, young but wise beyond her years and well-studied; and a cofounder/president of a company that has built AI agents to supply claims handlers and others with digital coworkers. She, too, is brilliant and hard to overestimate, given her accomplishments. Then, there is me—a preacher out of the pulpit, an adjuster who hasn’t adjusted a claim in years, and the leader of a school devoted to the education of adjusters and other claims professionals.
For a couple of days, I have been on the sweet end of positive feedback and wonderful words of encouragement. More than a few told me that our class was the best of the week. Not everyone said that, but no one said it sucked. Couple that with some industry friends genuinely telling me the things they like about me as a person and speaker and a thinker and whatnot, and my head threatens to swell.
Underrated
Then, I am milling about a room filled with the movers and shakers in our industry and for the most part, I am unknown and, apparently, uninteresting. A few nod. Some smile. None engage, unless they know me. And the same head that threatened to swell begins to shrivel.
All the good things I tell me about myself give way to the bad ones. I may be my biggest supporter (according to some), but I remain my harshest critic, too.
Anyone else feel this? Am I alone here?
Underestimated. Overestimated. Never quite properly estimated!
On one hand, you want to scream, “Hey! Look! I am here. See me?
And on the other, you furrow your brow and think, “What are you looking at?”
You might know that the preacher left in me or the counselor I once purported to be might have some thoughts on this matter of how to find balance in the way you view, judge, assess, and accept yourself.
I do.
Give Yourself a break, but not one you wouldn’t extend to someone else.
In this world of self-love and self-care, we have fostered at least one generation of people always ready to give themselves the benefit of every doubt and every break. Those same people improve how they feel about themselves by withholding such grace from others, so they feel better by comparison. This is not a new problem. Jesus identified it in a parable more than 2,000 years ago.
To some who trusted in their own righteousness and viewed others with contempt, He also told this parable: “Two men went up to the temple to pray. One was a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed, ‘God, I thank You that I am not like other men—swindlers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and pay tithes of all that I acquire.’
But the tax collector stood at a distance, unwilling even to lift up his eyes to heaven. Instead, he beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner!’ I tell you, this man, rather than the Pharisee, went home justified. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.” —Luke 8:9–14
Ah, the comparison prayer! The “I deserve better” prayer.
I would like to stop right here and say in almost every circumstance and category, we would be better served to just take “deserve” out of our vocabulary. Entitlement + self-love is putrefying, especially to the God Who went to such extremes to show His love despite our unworthiness. Either that, or He made the blunder of history in making the sacrifice He did.
Give yourself a break, but not an excuse.
“I’m sorry but” is the way blame-shifting often begins. What follows “but” is everything but ownership.
Fail but don’t excuse it.
If you fall, get up, and do better.
If you sin, own it, confess it, forsake it.
A sin cannot be excused and forgiven at the same time.
Neither can it be excused and overcome.
Excuses keep us down, hold us back, and let us think it is someone else’s fault.
They lead to dissatisfaction, which ferments into bitterness.
Don’t over-estimate your worth
Too many base their worth on wealth, fame, accolades, “likes,” “followers,” “connections,” and comparisons.
I saw a meme on LinkedIn this morning and it was the catalyst for this line of thought. I shared it on LinkedIn and Facebook. Here it is.
Life is strange. You arrive with nothing, spend your whole life chasing everything, and still leave with nothing. Make sure your soul gains more than your hands.
That stopped me dead in my tracks because it reminded me of my faith, my anchor, my belief system. You can find similar sentiments in Scripture.
Then Jesus called the crowd to Him along with His disciples, and He told them, “If anyone wants to come after Me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake and for the gospel will save it.
What does it profit a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul? If anyone is ashamed of Me and My words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will also be ashamed of him when He comes in His Father’s glory with the holy angels.” —Mark 8:34–38
Jesus says preparing your life to be measured in time but not eternity is poor planning. Very poor, indeed.
The Apostle Paul agreed and gave these instructions to young Timothy:
Of course, godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, so we cannot carry anything out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with these.
Those who want to be rich, however, fall into temptation and become ensnared by many foolish and harmful desires that plunge them into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. By craving it, some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many sorrows. —1 Timothy 6:6–10
People overestimate their worth when they focus on the wrong measurements.
I heard a rhetorical or apocryphal story as a boy.
Two people discussing the passing of a very rich man.
“How much did he leave behind?” asks the first man, with a twinge of jealousy.
“He left it all,” answered the second.
We all do.
Don’t Under-Estimate Your Worth
Just as some overestimate themselves on the criteria of temporal and fleeting things, others underestimate their value on the same criteria. They think themselves less because they have less money, power, position, followers, likes, ability, knowledge…
Again, I turn to the big picture to sort out these little ones.
For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance as our way of life. —Ephesians 2:10
Some Bible versions use the word “masterpiece” rather than “Workmanship,” and I can see why. The Greek word Paul used is poeima, from which we get “poem,” and it does imply an important work, a masterpiece.
You are better than Mona Lisa and Whistler’s Mother combined, because you are the masterpiece of God almighty. It is a shame to think there is nothing special about that!
Don’t overestimate yourself or underestimate yourself, and don’t spend too much time or energy on those estimations. Be humble. The best way to do that is to put energy, thought, and care into others.
Remember the words of C.S. Lewis:
“Humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.”
So what if others sing my praises or fail to recognize my presence? So what if they overestimate me or underestimate me? They’re not props in The Gene Show. They are people I have the opportunity and the privilege to find a way to serve, to brighten their day, lighten their load, or light their way.
In my estimation, that’s enough.
