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You are someone different to everyone who knows you
A Personal Survey
Jesus had an interesting Q&A with his disciples (aka, Apostles):
When Jesus came into the coasts of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, saying, Whom do men say that I the Son of man am?
And they said, Some say that thou art John the Baptist: some, Elias; and others, Jeremias, or one of the prophets.
He saith unto them, But whom say ye that I am?
And Simon Peter answered and said, Thou art the Christ, the Son of the living God.
And Jesus answered and said unto him, Blessed art thou, Simon Barjona: for flesh and blood hath not revealed it unto thee, but my Father which is in heaven.
Matthew 16:13-17 (King James Bible)
Jesus: “What are people saying about me?”
The Apostles: “Lots of things. Seems everyone sees something a little different when they look at you.”
Jesus: “What about you? What do you see?”
Peter: “I see God.”
The Power of Perception
Perception is one of Earth’s most powerful forces. We think we know who we are – and who we are to others, but we do not. I know the me I want to be, the me I believe I am, and the me I find so disappointing. I know myself inside but not out. Out is where others view me, assimilate what they see, and determine who and what I am to them.
I remember when I was a young pastor, very young – just 23 years old – a woman who was a family member of the elderly pastor who had founded the church and then left to return to his home in Indiana to finish growing old and die, said to someone in the small church, “That man makes my skin crawl.”
The family members the old coot left behind, including this woman who was no prize in my book, wanted me to be him and I would not, could not, and had no desire to be. I had never made anyone’s skin crawl before, and I do not believe I have since, but what do I know? Maybe I have and word didn’t make it back to me.
In that tiny community of believers, another couple was willing to drive more than an hour one way to every service to support me and throw themselves behind the work of building a church with me. Their perception of the kid preacher was different from that woman’s. But I was the same person, in either case, doing the same things, preaching the same sermons.
I have three daughters. I am the same Dad to each of them but something different to each. To one, I am the fixer of broken things. To another, I am her best friend and hero. To the third, I am who she judges other men against. I like each of those roles. I cherish each child. Still, I represent something different with each.
Sometimes, on a morning work call, when I share some insight or wisdom for the week, I look into the eyes of those looking back at me and wonder who I am to them. Am I a stodgy old man keeping them from getting on with their day? Am I an inspiration or a drag? Am I an anchor or a buoy? Do I drag down or lift? Am I anything at all?
Eleanor Roosevelt, a woman of great intelligence and insight said, “You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.”
I believe she is right.
The first president I got to vote for was Ronald Reagan. To me, he was the Great Communicator, and a great American. To others, he was a former actor and a doddering old fool.
Sorry, Universal Appeal Unavailable
No one has universal appeal. This is my own saying and one I repeat often.
No one has universal appeal.
There are so many viewpoints and characterizations of a person that it is impossible to know if you know them. You think you do.
How often have you heard, “I know so-and-so and so-and-so could not have done such-and-such!”
It is on every true crime documentary, right?
“He was so quiet.”
“They were so happy together.”
But they did it. They pulled the trigger. They chopped up someone with an ax. They went off the rails in some horrific manner.
Then, someone says, “I thought I knew him.”
Come on. You don’t even know yourself. You think you do but have not witnessed yourself in every possible situation or scenario. You have not seen yourself in the perfect, unfiltered light of objectivity.
Prophet Jeremiah wrote, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?” (Jeremiah 17:9, King James Bible)
How do I find and know the me that is me or does that even exist? Am I a human chameleon – one thing on a certain day, in a certain situation, with a certain person, and another on another day, situation, or in another’s company? Am I virtuous or vile?
Yes. Yes, I am. So are you.
There is so much good in the worst of us, and so much bad in the best of us, that it ill behooves any of us to find fault with the rest of us.
-James Truslow Adams
My little tweak:
There is so much good in the worst of us and so much bad in the best of us, it is impossible to distinguish the worst and the best of us from the rest of us.
I know the me I think I am and I know the me I think you think I am. I think I do.
Jesus asked what others thought Him to be. May we not ask what He knows us to be?
King David: A Case Study
When God guided the Prophet Samuel in choosing Israel’s next leader, He told Samuel this:
Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.
1 Samuel 16:7 (KJB)
David was the unlikeliest choice. He was a skinny kid tending his father’s sheep. But in that bony teen body beat the heart of a lion, man! A man “after God’s own heart.” No one saw it. Samuel would have missed it had it not been for divine guidance.
David would enjoy the heights of success and suffer the misery of deep loss. Just like you. Just like me.
Mighty men would risk life and limb for him while his son revolted against him and tried to usurp his throne. He would steal another man’s wife and leave that man undefended on the battlefield to be killed.
He would also be the savior of Israel, her greatest king, and his lineage is the lineage of Christ.
Do you know David? Did David know David?
What do you know?
Perhaps the best thing we can do is to believe in the best version of ourselves and strive to be the person we believe ourselves to be – in all weathers, in every circumstance, and with each person whose path we cross.
If we fail that today, then let us try again tomorrow.
And what about others? Let’s give them the same breaks we give ourselves. Let’s see the best in them as best we can and do our best to help them be the best they can be.
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