I am in a McDonald’s…in a mall…in Mobile, Alabama.

A girl with vacant eyes waits rather impatiently behind the counter for me to decide.

“I will have a Number Two, please.”

For the uninformed, that is two small cheeseburgers, fries and a drink.

“Medium or large?”

“I’m sorry?”

Might have been a slight eye roll from the order-taker about here. Not sure.

“Do you want a large Number Two or a medium Number Two?”

“What about small?”

“We don’t got small: Only medium and large.”

Don’t do it, Gene. Let it go. 

“You know, technically, you cannot have a medium if you don’t have something smaller and something bigger.”

Dadgum it! You idiot! You just had to do it.

“Excuse me?”

“There has to be a small and  a large in order for there to be a medium. Medium, by definition, is between the extremes. ”

“Not here, it’s not. We don’t got small. We only got medium and large. Which do you want, sir?”

See? You lose. Order already.

I sigh and nod.

“Of course you are right. I will take a medium Number Two.”

This time I know she rolled her eyes and all I can hear is, “Badabombombom, I’m lovin’ it.”

When I started this story, I intended to pontificate on the lessons learned from this absurd encounter at the fast food counter. But then, I thought, I am not the teacher here at all. I am the student.

So, what do you think? Any lessons come to mind?


By Gene

I am a lover, a fighter, and a midnight writer. I love football, hamburgers, and philosophical inquiries. I love Jesus more than any of that. I love my wife, my daughters, my grandson, and my English Setters, Huck and Finn. I also love Huck Finn...and other seminal characters in American literature. Like Gus McCrae. I love the English language. I love to dive into the wonders of its depth and splash around in the shallow end where colloquialisms and slang rule and reign.

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