A Meme is an amazing tool. You can use it to inform (though not very thoroughly), incite, encourage, or crack funny. Seriously, some Memes are just belly laughers. They’re fun and they’re funny. They are not, however, a great source for philosophy, theology, or personal improvement. You can say a lot with a Meme. Maybe not enough, but a lot.
You can also get some very poor advice vis a vis the Meme, especially in the category of relationships.
The statement I am about to make is not scientific. I do not have data to support it; just experience and observation from my itty bitty place in the universe. Here goes: Memes I have encountered regarding relationship advice tend toward advising you to put yourself and your needs first.
Put the monkey on the back of the other person to put you first, too.
That is crap advice. It is not how any of this actually works. It is, however, how we frail, selfish, and sinful humans have worked it out… with the help of the father of this world.
Slithery Advisory AHEAD
“Put yourself first” was the first bad advice any human ever received, and when she took that counsel, it ruined everything for everyone.
Here is the official record:
Here’s the corrected version:
“The serpent was the shrewdest of all the wild animals the LORD God had made. One day he asked the woman, “Did God really say you must not eat the fruit from any of the trees in the garden?”
“Of course we may eat fruit from the trees in the garden,” the woman replied. “It’s only the fruit from the tree in the middle of the garden that we are not allowed to eat. God said, ‘You must not eat it or even touch it; if you do, you will die.’”
“You won’t die!” the serpent replied to the woman. “God knows that your eyes will be opened as soon as you eat it, and you will be like God, knowing both good and evil.”
The woman was convinced. She saw that the tree was beautiful and its fruit looked delicious, and she wanted the wisdom it would give her. So she took some of the fruit and ate it. Then she gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it, too. At that moment their eyes were opened, and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness. So they sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves.
When the cool evening breezes were blowing, the man and his wife heard the LORD God walking about in the garden. So they hid from the LORD God among the trees. Then the LORD God called to the man, “Where are you?”
I get that many do not take this story literally. They prefer to see it as an allegory or even a fable. I am not here to debate that point (I am a literalist), but in either case, the conclusion is the same.
We gather from comparative Scriptures that Satan is the Serpent in Genesis 3.
Here’s the corrected version:
“This great dragon—the ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, the one deceiving the whole world—was thrown down to the earth with all his angels.”
“Then I saw an angel coming down from heaven with the key to the bottomless pit and a heavy chain in his hand. 2He seized the dragon—that old serpent, who is the devil, Satan—and bound him in chains for a thousand years. 3The angel threw him into the bottomless pit, which he then shut and locked so Satan could not deceive the nations anymore until the thousand years were finished. Afterward he must be released for a little while.”
If you boil it down, the Serpent told Eve that she was in a toxic relationship. God was making it all about Himself. He did not have her best interest at heart. What she needed to do was do what was right for her…put her aspirations, ambitions, perceived needs, interests above anyone else’s. If she would do that and eat the fruit God said was poison, then she would be empowered. She would be in a relationship of equality.
Just do you. Just focus on what you need or want. That is the ticket. If the other person has a problem with that, then they aren’t right for you anyway. God included.
ME(first)ME
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“Me first” is a popular Meme theme, an ancient philosophy, and absolutely detrimental to any relationship.
Jesus to the Pharisees ( a religious group that had twisted the faith to make it about themselves):
“For you are the children of your father the devil, and you love to do the evil things he does. He was a murderer from the beginning. He has always hated the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, it is consistent with his character; for he is a liar and the father of lies. ”
Satan knew it from the beginning. Imagine that the sworn enemy of God and good is preparing the first nuke he plans to hit mankind with. He is going to blow this Eden thing, this tranquility, and peace, this weedless garden, this deathless life to smithereens. He knows he has to swing for the fences. His first play has to be one with catastrophic consequences.
What is his play?
He twists God’s words to suit his own theology. He appeals to the same latent urge that got him kicked out of Heaven. Pride!
You got to take care of you, Eve! God is just all about Himself. He doesn’t want you to be the best you can be. Think of yourself first.
That was his strategy. It worked then and it is the most pervasive and poisonous lie to this day, the one that destroys marriages, dissolves friendships, derails partnerships, and damages every kind of relationship it touches.
Has the father of lies become the father of bad relationship advice Memes? Is there any doubt?
Satan wants you to believe that love is all about what you get from it when it is actually about what you give to it.
RELATIONSHIP 101
God’s formula is the antithesis of the Serpent’s. He says that each should put the other’s needs and interests above their own. I have never seen or heard of this approach failing in a marriage, a partnership, a friendship, or any other relationship. The trouble always begins with “me first.” How does infidelity work? By a partner putting himself/herself and their “needs” first. How does an argument begin and evolve into a nuclear situation? By each person going “me first” on the other.
“For God so loved the world that he gave…” John 3:16
Someone said, and I believe it is true, “You can give without loving but you cannot love without giving.”
Put THAT in a Meme