Blackie Sherrod is one of DFW’s most iconic newspapermen. He was a sportswriter in the heyday of the profession. Blackie wrote for the Fort Worth Press, then the Dallas Times Herald, and finally, the Dallas Morning News. D Magazine listed the famous sportswriter #62 on the 100 greatest Dallasites.
My favorite Blackie thing to read was not even a sports column. It was the weekly article he called “Scattershooting.” It was literary potpourri, just short musings on various unrelated items. He was, in fact, doing random blogging before there was a blog…or the Internet.
Blackie always began Scattershooting with the same phrase: “Scattershooting while wondering whatever happened to…” He would add the name of some blast from the past, someone you likely haven’t thought of or heard much about in a long time. That part alone was fun, remembering the person mentioned and thinking, “I wonder what DID happen to him or her?” I am sure Google would ruin such fun little mysteries today. Google knows everything about everybody and nothing about life itself.
In true Blackie tradition, I have things to write today that are here and there and neither here nor there, so here goes.
Taking potshots and hip shots while wondering whatever happened to fellow Mineral Wells alum and contemporary and one of only three from the town of Mineral Wells to make it to the NFL, Alvin Garrett. (I refuse to Google the answer.)…
…St. Lucia is an independent island but part of the British Commonwealth, like, say, Canada. They have washrooms. In America, these are bathrooms or restrooms. I suppose the least sensical of the three is restroom. Who goes to such a place for rest? But on the flight to Omaha Tuesday morning last, I got up to relieve myself and found the door marked “Laundry.” Nope. I am not doing laundry on a plane and besides it was occupied, so I returned to my seat and peed myself.
(I am mostly kidding about that last part.)
…funniest thing I saw this week was this woman feeding an alligator while being recorded and verbally supported by her man. I do not know the life insurance arrangement here.
They grow them differently down in the bayou. They also have hurricane parties, Popeye’s chicken, and they invented drive-thru daiquiri shacks.
…I got a wicked haircut. Well, it is the same Peaky Blinders look I have been throwing down a while; it’s just this time it popped. Some smartass friend said I looked like a hobo or some such. I did not say his face looked like the south end of a northbound jackass. I am cool like that.
…Nebraska, I have seen, is pretty much giving the facemask the finger, even in the airport, and now I think maybe Texas should kiss and make up, let football bygones be bygones, and annex the Cornhusker state before declaring independence. Oklahoma, on the other hand…
…I stayed a few blocks from TD Ameritrade Park (damn corporate sponsorships cause the ruination of great stadium names everywhere), where the College World Series is played. My Longhorns graciously withheld themselves from the tournament (by not making it there) to give Mississippi State the chance to win their first-ever NCAA title of any kind in any sport. (This according to my good friend and Alabama apologist, Mark Glass.) I refuse to Google the accuracy of it. Screw it. Seems right to me.
…”Railroad crossing, look out for cars. Can you spell that without an R’s?” This was my favorite riddle when I was six. It still holds up.
…A Facebook friend wrote that she cannot watch a movie or documentary without obsessing over learning everything she can about the actors or people in it. Many of her friends agreed and confessed to the same disorder. As for me, every movie I ever saw starred “Whatshisface” or “Whatshername,” you know “the one that starred in the thing?” I guess I am more like Joe Biden in some ways than I care to admit? Nah.
…I do not know why they bother putting a lean-back feature on an airplane seat if it is just going to lean back one stinking inch or two. I am on an early bird and my head is flopping like a beached bass and bouncing off my shoulder like a beach ball. It is a cruel, mean joke and I do not appreciate it.
…Name one thing you are thankful for concerning the times in which we live. I will start. I am glad “potbelly” has been replaced by the cooler, hipper “Dad bod.” Your turn.
…The only person more longsuffering than a fat-fingered typist writing on a smartphone is the poor soul trying to cipher the message.
…I am ruminating on a piece based on an Einstein quote. I will call it “Fish don’t fly and flies don’t fish.” Stay tuned…