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and the chief virtue of the underachiever
Patience is a virtue.
You have heard it and maybe repeated it. So have I. Patience is a good trait. It is hard to come by and easy to lose.
I have observed that patience is least present in the extremities of life. The very young have no patience. Babies cry because they want something, and they want it now. Hungry? Wail and cry until you are fed. Sleepy? Throw a fit until you fall into fitful rest. Want something at the store or a toy someone else is playing with? You know what to do.
The other subset of humanity that is not given much to patience is the elderly. When I was a younger man, I assumed people became more patient as they aged. That is true until you hit a certain stage and then some reset button is triggered, and you are right back to wanting it and wanting it right now. Is your son or daughter busy at work? Never mind! You have something on your mind and must share it now. They can disconnect that stupid Zoom call or step away from the client meeting because you heard a joke, and you know they will love it, but you don’t want to forget the punchline. Are they at the funeral of a friend? OK, but your bunion is acting up again. The light in your fridge is out. The stupid postman left the mailbox door open. Attention! Now, please.
Patience is an admirable, desirable, and rare trait. Most people never achieve much patience. Their kids “get on their last nerve.” Their neighbors never edge their damn lawn. McDonald’s took four minutes to produce a Big Mac. Their kid can’t seem to learn his ABCs and must be stupid or have a learning disability. It’s been a whole week! Their kid can’t sit still in church and must have ADHD. (But they can’t stay awake in church. What’s the difference?)
Patience is a virtue.
Christians talk about having patience in tribulation. They herald the ancient Old Testament character Job as the supreme example of patience. You have heard of “the patience of Job” even if you haven’t a clue who he was or why he needed patience in the first place.
Psychologists also tout patience as a virtue:
Patience is a virtue because it cultivates inner strength and sound judgment. In a world that often feels rushed and demanding, the ability to wait calmly and tolerate delays really empowers us to make clear-headed decisions. Patience helps us avoid acting out of frustration or anger, thus preventing us from making hasty choices that could have negative consequences. ~Robert Puff, PhD, in Meditation for Modern Life, Psychology Today, March 1, 2024
Patience is a problem.
Patience is essential to a healthy mindset. I don’t know why that would need to be argued further. Impatience leads to anxiety, doubt, fear, false conclusions, bad assumptions, etc.
But for some, patience is the problem.
Let me explain.
I see people patiently waiting for “their time to come,” as if success is inevitable if you just wait it out. They make no plans for retirement because someday their ship will come in and they will be set. They don’t exercise or eat right because some pharmaceutical company will create a miracle drug like Monjauro and, voila, they will lose weight. They wait until the 11th hour to study for every test. They take the path of least resistance. They bitch about the overachievers at work who ruin it for everyone by raising the bar of expectation. Instead of KPIs, they prefer KPIOs (“Keep Putting It off”).
Hey! Wake up!
It is silly to sit on the shore waiting for your ship to come in when you have no ships at sea.
“Good things come to those who wait,” they say.
I say, “Good things wait for those who come.”
“Don’t make waves!” They cry.
“Be the storm!” I reply.
“Good things wait for those who come.”
Put patience in its proper place.
Following is a key to unlock the door we labeled success. Put it on your keychain. Write it on your medulla oblongata.
Ready? Here it is:
Apply patience to the result but urgency to the pursuit.
That is it in a nutshell.
Here’s to your success in 2025. May it be the year patience becomes a virtue rather than a strategy.
Apply patience to the result but urgency to the pursuit.
I leave you with a favorite quote, one I have repeated since my earliest days in church ministry in the late 1980s. I still repeat it and have it hanging up at the Adjust U campus today.
“You don’t get everything you go after but you get some things that you didn’t go after that you wouldn’t have gotten if you hadn’t gone after the things you didn’t get.”
