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Acknowledgement: I want to thank the genius of the AT&T commercial series with the guy interviewing kids for the inspiration behind this genius move.


The world has too long been plagued by the burden of the New Year’s resolution;

And Whereas

Said resolutions are always made with the best of intentions and the highest of hopes

And Whereas

Most NY resolutions fail to make February

And Whereas

I have seen enough of failure to keep promises to oneself


Be it hereby known to one and all that in 2014 I am declaring a  buy me a boat lyrics New Year’s REVOLUTION.


I declare my ten 2014 Revolutionary acts:

In 2014, I will…

  1. Eat more bacon…and chicken fried steak
  2. Consume more Dr. Pepper
  3. Watch more All in the Family reruns
  4. Be more selective–and effective–with my cussing
  5. Write at least one letter protesting those infernal and unconstitutional red light cameras
  6. Laugh at liberals
  7. Find new and better ways to express my feelings for Jerry Jones
  8. Find new and better ways to express my feelings for Barack Obama
  9. Watch more football
    1. Addendum: Watch more baseball, basketball, and hockey
  10. Smoke better cigars


I feel pretty good about my list. What things would you put on yours?

Make 2014 the best year yet. Happy New Year!


By Gene

I am a lover, a fighter, and a midnight writer. I love football, hamburgers, and philosophical inquiries. I love Jesus more than any of that. I love my wife, my daughters, my grandson, and my English Setters, Huck and Finn. I also love Huck Finn...and other seminal characters in American literature. Like Gus McCrae. I love the English language. I love to dive into the wonders of its depth and splash around in the shallow end where colloquialisms and slang rule and reign.

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