I hate coconut
When it comes to culinary preferences, there is no food that I have done a harder 180 on than coconut.
When I was a kid, I hated coconut. I didn’t care if it was a coconut cream pie, a German chocolate cake, a Mounds candy bar, or coconut shrimp (if they even had that back then). Didn’t matter. I hated coconut and I was not fond of the nuts who liked it. There was something about its texture and taste that creeped me out.
Sometime in the early 80’s, along with the rest of my generation, I discovered the Christmas classic film, It’s a Wonderful Life. As much as I joined the rest of humanity in my adoration of George Bailey, I harbored serious misgivings about his judgment early in the film due to him chiding his future wife when she said she didn’t like coconuts…
Through my twenties, which was in the 1980s, and my thirties in the ‘90s, I carried this grudge against coconut and its vocal advocates, whether they be kin, friend, or perfect stranger (which would make them imperfect strangers at best). Coconuts may grow in idyllic places, but they were the Devil’s work, his way of ruining an island Paradise.
Then one day, when I was hard up for something sweet and the only thing in the house was a German chocolate cake, I relented and had a slice. Three slices later, I was beginning to doubt the logic of my adolescent brain, the one that formed such a harsh opinion on the fruit.
It is a fruit, right?
Pretty soon, I was sampling a Mounds candy bar. Not as bad as I remembered. Then, a coconut cream pie made by the incredibly-talented baker Nelda Day, mother of my good friend, Keith. I hated how delicious that was. I realized my conversion was complete when, just the other day, I was looking in the fridge at work for half-and-half for my coffee and found none. But someone had put a bottle of coconut creamer in there and I thought, “Why not?”
I love coconut.
Say, Brainless. You want a sex change?
My journey to coconut appreciation put me in a reflective mode. I considered how many opinions and “truths” I might have espoused as a boy to which I would no longer subscribe. Everything seemed bigger and more exaggerated back then. Things were extreme. The gray areas of life had not yet emerged. It was all black and white, good and evil. No ambiguity. No nuance. My Dad knew everything. My Mom was perfect. (Well, Mom is still perfect. Some things you learn early and the truth holds and stands the test of time.) Good guys and outlaws were clearly defined. The cowboys were always good and the Indians (we don’t use that word for Native Americans anymore) were always marauders. Frontier justice was just. Republicans were for the rich and Democrats were the working man’s friends. Independent, Premillennial, Bible-believing Baptists were right and everyone else was wrong.
It’s funny, isn’t it? Uncertainty grows as you mature. You question things you once accepted as fact. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, coconuts…
So, why, then, do so many in our society encourage boys and girls who haven’t even hit double digits in age to make gender choices? Don’t feel like a boy, even if you have nuts? Don’t sweat it. You are probably not a boy at all. In fact, why don’t you just tell us what you would like to be and we will make it so? We have drugs and surgeries and all kinds of Christmas magic to make you whatever you want, even a Unicorn!
The kid doesn’t even know he likes coconut yet!!!
In 2019, The Atlantic ran an article in its “Science” section titled, Young Trans Children Know Who They Are.
The article cites and focuses on a study done by Kristina, a psychologist at the University of Washington. The fact that the article appears in The Atlantic and the study is performed at The University of Washington should be enough to predict the outcome of the “study.” It feels like a study that starts with an acceptable conclusion and works backward to support it.
I know. Liberal-minded folks would harbor similar suspicions about a conservative scientific study.
I do not deny the existence of gender confusion in children. I don’t deny the existence of any kind of confusion in children. Childhood is a confusing time. Then, you grow up and get really confused.
I just suggest the coconut on these kids is more hard shell than inner substance. They are not mature enough intellectually, emotionally, or spiritually to make life-altering decisions that result in drug therapy and gender-assignment surgery.
I am pretty sure science backs me up on this one, too.
This is agenda-driven child abuse
I could find articles ad infinitum that confirm the adolescent brain is yet unformed, immature, and given to poor decisions without the benefit of either forethought or hindsight. But do I need to?
To further my coconut argument, the children often marked for gender fluidity or reassignment aren’t even adolescents yet! Adolescence is generally considered the ages 10 – 19. We have agenda-driven adults imposing their worldview on pre-adolescent children! This is, to me, sick on so many levels.
I am not addressing the whole transgender/gender-fluid/Baskin-Robbins-31-flavor-sexual-orientation argument here. I am only addressing the despicable practice of guiding children into a gender identity crisis and then screwing with them before their brains are even fully formed, encouraging and aiding forever changes on a child who has no idea what forever means.
What if they decide they do like coconuts? What then?