The Greybeard Chronicles: The Prince of Thieves in the Land of Venti
Once upon a time (this morning), in a land far, far away (Mobile, Alabama), a handsome young prince – or pauper, if you will (yours truly), journeyed (by pickup) to a dark swamp in a dense forest (Starbucks) where highway robbers lurched in waiting (behind the counter) to pounce on unsuspecting innocents (customers too stupid or stubborn to pass on a $5 cup of coffee), when he beheld a damsel (coworker) in distress (or in the grips of a very intense, life-draining, bad mood.) The gallant prince unleashed his wit and charm to rescue the poor damsel from her drab existence, or at least wake her from her comatose trance.
Alas, his chivalry was rebuffed by an icy glare (or was it a blank stare?) and slight curl of the upper lip.
This was precisely the instant our hero pondered the question: “What crawled up you’re a…?”
He was then struck by the epiphany that some occupants of the Forest of Life are incurably discontent and innately dull, and this one may just be a grade "A" b…
He was mid-thought when the robber proved to be Robin (or maybe Robyn) Hood and handed him a Venti Caramel Macchiato. Thus, his anger was sated, the damsel was spared a severe tongue-lashing and the handsome prince kept his job another day.