Scars, but you're worth it! - The JourneyMan's Journal

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Don’t be scared. Be scarred instead. Wounds become scars. Scars become stories. Stories become inspiration. Storytellers with scars become legends.
The JourneyMan

Like a good neighbor

I wrote this thing about scars earlier today. Maybe it was the residue left in my subconscious after a short visit with my next-door neighbor yesterday.

We don’t talk often or for very long. One of his kids lost a volleyball over the fence into my backyard while we were away and he wondered if I might toss it back. While talking, I could not help but see his scars and missing digits again. He has three fingers and a thumb on his right hand. The ring finger is gone. On his left hand, one-third of his index finger is missing. He has a long scar on his cheek and his right forearm sports a scar that goes from just above his wrist to just below the crook of his arm. The muscle under it is either atrophied or gone. He has plenty of other scars hidden under his clothing and his hair. He has a scar across his head, from ear to ear. His face was peeled back by doctors, and reconstructed.

He was the victim of an enemy IED (Improvised Explosive Device) in Afghanistan. It blew a couple of his fellow troopers to shreds, killing them, and badly damaging him, but if you watch him working in his yard or playing with his kids from a distance, you would never know it.

He and his wife have a couple of young daughters and have been foster parents to nine children over the years. He knows the meaning of sacrifice in just about every sense of the word.

I do not ask him about his scars or try to get him to go back down that mental road but when he talks about it, I listen with reverence and thanks.

You’re worth it

I did not intend to write this article. I shared my thoughts on scars on Facebook and LinkedIn and was content to let well enough alone.

That was before my wife asked me to go to Sam’s on my lunch break and pick up some stuff. In the checkout line, I saw this fellow. I figured he was in his early 40s, but he is 51. There was a roll of Grizzly tobacco in his basket, and we discussed the virtues of Copenhagen vs Grizzly. and how old each of us was the first time we took a dip. He was 11. I was about eight. (I know, I know. Growing up with the sons of roughnecks in Mineral Wells, Texas will do that for you.)

The fellow was cut like Sgt York. His muscles bulged and, even at 51, all the angles were sharp, and defined. He had the appropriate amount and kind of tattoos to accentuate his tough guy persona. And his shirt was form-fitting.

Just about every man sizes up other men at some point and figures, “I could take him,” or “I wouldn’t want to f- with that dude.” He fit the latter category. I surmised there was not a man in Sam’s at that moment who would relish a row with my new friend. He told me he was a Copenhagen guy but years ago, when he deployed to Afghanistan, he stocked up on his snuff since he figured it would be hard to come by over there. When he commented on the price, the cashier suggested he try Grizzly, since it was about half the price of Copenhagen. He did. He never went back to Copenhagen.

While he shared the story, I noted some scars on his arms and hands I hadn’t seen before. They had the look of combat scars to me. As we parted, I said, “Hey, man. Thank you for your service.”

He gave me the best response I have ever heard from a veteran responding to those words.

“You’re worth it.”

I hurried out of Sam’s onto the parking lot so this man who paid whatever price he was called on to pay for my freedom and wellbeing would not see me wiping tears.

That is when I decided to write this.

Make sure of the worth before you sacrifice

We all make sacrifices. We pay the price for things we want, choose, or cherish. Before you count the cost, estimate the value. Cost and value are not the same thing. Some spend a lifetime sacrificing themselves on the altar of cravings, indulgences, and addictions. Others sacrifice everything to try and please everyone. The wise ones sacrifice whatever they must for the best things – things of intrinsic, lasting, even eternal value.

The aging Apostle Paul issued this advice to his fellow believers:

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off every encumbrance and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with endurance the race set out for us. 2Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the authora and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3Consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
Hebrews 12:1,2

Make sure you’re worth the sacrifice

After the soldier in Sam’s said, “You’re worth it” to me, I sat in my pickup truck in the parking lot and thought about that assertion for a while.

Am I? What am I doing that is worthwhile? What am I making of the opportunities afforded me by being a citizen of a free and prosperous nation? What am I doing with their sacrifice?

The Declaration of Independence concludes with these words…