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Manipulation vs Inspiration and why it matters which one you are
There are only two ways to influence human behavior.
…you can manipulate it
…or you can inspire it.
Simon Sinek
This quote from Simon has been weighing heavily on me today. I have put it on the scale, weighed it in the balances, and found it fair. In every way I can think to influence the behavior of another human – whether it is your child, your partner, your employee, your neighbor, your friend you name it – is to manipulate or inspire.
I have also considered the natural feeling that manipulation is the low road and inspiration is the high road. I find that sentiment also to be fair. It is better to inspire than to manipulate.
Manipulation vs Inspiration at their cores
What is the essential difference between manipulation and inspiration? What makes each what it is?
The answer…
Manipulation says, Do this or else. Inspiration says, Do this because
Manipulation uses guilt, fear, or obligation to achieve its end. Inspiration appeals to the nobler impulses of virtue, love, and hope.
Manipulation anticipates the consequences of failure. Inspiration imagines the benefits of success.
Manipulation imposes on free will. Inspiration empowers free will.
Manipulation relies on its authority or influence. Inspiration depends on its authenticity and impact.
Manipulation usually has a more immediate positive effect and a negative long-term effect. Inspiration may not be immediate but has a greater life cycle.
There are only two ways to influence human behavior.
you can manipulate it
or you can inspire it.
Simon Sinek
Manipulation is not always bad.
[ muh–nip-yuh-leyt ]
Phonetic (Standard)IPA
manipulated, manipulating.
Bottom line
we are all manipulative
yes, you, too.
We use our position or place in someone’s life to evoke certain behaviors. That is ok if it is not abusive. A parent uses discipline to correct behavior in a child. We talk about making our kids behave. Typically, we do not mean to override their will and physically force them to do something. We are using the threat of discipline to influence them to a more acceptable pattern of behavior. Ideally, this is for their own good, so they dont injure themselves, make terrible, life-damaging decisions, or hurt someone else (physically or emotionally).
I don’t want to be around kids whose parents never manipulated them or their behavior. They are bound to be a disaster.
If you think about it, every rule is manipulation. If you see a speed limit sign or a code of ethics, there are negative consequences for failure to adhere. Every law is designed to manipulate, moderate, or modify behavior. Consequences ensue when that law is broken. The Ten Commandments carry the threat of disaster when broken.
The trouble with being a manipulative parent who never inspires their children is that they do not remain children forever. They grow up. The relationship dynamics change. The parent who inspired their children will be loved, admired, and emulated. The parent who ruled through manipulation and intimidation is likely to be reviled, avoided, and remembered for all the wrong reasons.
A leader may be a leader forever but a boss is only a boss as long as the boss/subordinate relationship lasts.
I had a boss once. He was self-centered, demeaning, mean-spirited, and ruled through threat and intimidation. The second I shed myself of his position in my life, he became nothing more than a warning sign on the road to leadership. He became an illustration of poor humanity, as he (posthumously) remains at this writing.
I also worked under (but it felt more like with) a tremendous leader once. He is still a leader and an influencer in my life, though I have not seen him or spoken to him in more than seven years.
A leader may be a leader forever but a boss is only a boss as long as the boss/subordinate relationship lasts.
Manipulation is an essential element of management. It is not a component of leadership.
Inspiration is not always good.
inspired; inspiring
1
: to spur on : IMPEL, MOTIVATE
threats don’t necessarily inspire people to work
b
: to exert an animating, enlivening, or exalting influence on
was particularly inspired by the Romanticists
c
: AFFECT
seeing the old room again inspired him with nostalgia
d
: to influence, move, or guide by divine or supernatural inspiration
2
a
the book was inspired by his travels in the Far East
b
: INCITE
: to draw forth or bring out
thoughts inspired by a visit to the cathedral
: to communicate to an agent supernaturally
: to spread (rumor) by indirect means or through the agency of another
6
archaic : to breathe or blow into or upon
archaic : to infuse (something, such as life) by breathing
inspired into him an active soul Wisdom of Solomon 15:11
Inspiration boils down to influence. At its origin, the word inspire had to do with literally breathing into another to infuse it with life. The ability to inspire others is a rare and precious privilege. You have to be careful of its power. Consider the outlaws inspired by Jesse and Frank James or those inspired by the fiery rhetoric and cult of personality in Jim Jones. More than 900 people drank the Kool-Aid in Jonestown Guyana.
To Manipulate is human. To inspire is divine.
I said everyone manipulates, and I believe it is true. Not everyone inspires.
The irony of inspiration is in its best-kept secret: to be an inspiration one must not seek to be an inspiration. Those who seek to be an inspiration are self-serving. Those who live inspiring lives and say inspiring things that motivate us to reach for higher ground are serving…not self-serving.
The irony of inspiration is in its best-kept secret: to be an inspiration one must not seek to be an inspiration.
