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I missed the whole “Elf on a Shelf” thing but have seen plenty of parents having lots of fun with their kids doing it. That is great! It fires the imagination of the kid, engages the parent in the kid’s life, and provides a bonding opportunity.
I wish parents would be as imaginative when teaching their children humility.
Google “humility” and the following definition pops up: a modest or low view of one’s own importance; humbleness.
Merriam Webster offers the following:
“Humility means “the state of being humble.” Both it and humble have their origin in the Latin word humilis, meaning “low.”
Humble can be used to describe what is ranked low by others, as in “persons of humble origins.” People also use the word of themselves and things associated with themselves; if you describe yourself as “but a humble editor” or refer to your home as your “humble abode,” you are saying that neither you nor your home is very impressive.”
Go low
The word “humility” is derived from the Latin humilis, which means “low.” The misconception many have is that humility essentially equates to low self-esteem. Nothing could be further from the truth. Humility is not putting yourself down. It is not false modesty. It is not thinking you are not good enough or that someone else is more worthy. This is not humility at all.
Pastor/philosopher/motivator Rick Warren has given us one of the best definitions of humility that I have found:
“Humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.
Humility is going low to boost another. It is giving others a leg up. It is standing in the shadows to let another bask in the light. Humility is the willingness to work behind the scenes without making a scene.
In a sense, when a parent presents the Elf on a Shelf or credits Santa Claus for providing gifts they worked their fingers to the bone to afford, they are practicing humility for the benefit of the child. They are willing to not take the credit in order to fuel their child’s wonderment.
That may be something of a stretch, but humility is an evasive subject. The minute you start thinking of yourself as humble, you might become proud of that fact and – Bam! – there goes humility out the window.
The foundation is at the bottom
Most of us want to think we are virtuous. Confucius observed that “humility is the solid foundation of all virtues.”
Humility is the solid foundation of all virtues.
Nothing is constructed from the top down. You cannot build a building by starting with the roof. First, you lay a foundation for everything else to rest on, to be supported by. This is Confucius view of humility. I think you could observe any successful organization or endeavor and find that the bedrock is comprised of those who humbled themselves, who became the foundation, the ones whose backs, whose blood and sweat and tears, whose sacrifices the thing was built upon.
Humility is the virtue that makes other virtues virtuous in the first place. Are you generous? Great! But generosity devoid of humility will soon become a way to place the recipients of your generosity in your debt. At that moment, you cease being generous. The virtue is gone. Or, the generosity becomes a way to gain the accolades and admiration of others. Again, the virtue is gone by virtue of ambition.
Humility in the Flesh
Do you wonder what humility looks like? Want to know how a humble person responds to adversity or accolades or just the usual stuff of life? I have a biography for you to read. It is actually one composed by four different authors, each viewing the same life from a unique angle. The authors names are Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. You can also sprinkle in observations from the prolific writer, Paul.
In fact, let’s just go to Paul for a quick summation:
“Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:
Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God:
But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men:
And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.”
I love the poetic beauty of the King James in this passage. If you want to consider Paul’s observation in more modern language, here you go…
“You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.
Though he was God,
he did not think of equality with God
as something to cling to.
Instead, he gave up his divine privileges[b];
he took the humble position of a slave
and was born as a human being.
When he appeared in human form,
he humbled himself in obedience to God
and died a criminal’s death on a cross.”
Jesus did not think less of Himself. He never denied His deity. He said, “I and the Father are one. If you have seen me, you have seen the Father.”
“The Father and I are one.”
Once again the people picked up stones to kill him. Jesus said, “At my Father’s direction I have done many good works. For which one are you going to stone me?”
They replied, “We’re stoning you not for any good work, but for blasphemy! You, a mere man, claim to be God.”
Liars who claim Jesus never claimed to be God ignore his clear statements on the matter. Make no mistake: Jesus did not think less of Himself! He thought of Himself less!
Sprinkled in the utterances of Christ from the Cross are insights to this fact. He makes sure John knows to take care of His mom. He asks the Father to forgive the people crucifying and mocking him because they do it in ignorance. He attends to the dying confession and cry for salvation of a criminal.
Jesus did not think less of Himself. He thought of Himself less.
Humility is self-sacrifice
To be humble, one must be invested in others at the expense of his or her own comforts, desires, and ambitions.
True humility is the most beautiful of all virtues. False humility is simply pride in humility’s clothing. Those who feign humility to gain notoriety or some other form of self-advancement or gratification are no better than wolves in sheepskin.
But how do you spot true humility? It is, I believe encased in the fruit of the Spirit:
“But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. ”
Teach your children well.
While you are teaching your kids all about the Vince Lombardi mindset of winning at any cost and that winning is what it is all about and how quitters never win and winners never quit, how about you teach them what being a real winner means? It means you lose with dignity. It means you win with humility. It means you accept responsibility and share the glory. It means deflecting praise in order to highlight the efforts or qualities of others. It means you are genuine, authentic, kind, good, faithful.. It means you are what you are because of “Christ in you, the hope of glory.” (Colossians 1:27)
Teach your children humility. Share with them the sentiments of this Tim McGraw song…
God bless you and yours. Merry Christmas!
