I Have Never Been to Ireland, But I Do Love a Limerick

The kid in me has always loved a limerick. And why not? What's not to like? The cadence is fun, the rhyming is satisfying, and the message is usually just silly or funny in some kind of way. Actually, I have been obsessed with the Irish and their lyrical, poetic ways for years. I hope to someday see the Emerald Isle firsthand. Maybe I will even make it to the town of Limerick itself, just to see if that's how people there talk to one another.

But since I cannot get to Limerick at the moment, I will bring Limerick to me.

Before we begin, let's get a working definition. Here is the wikipedia truth of it:

A limerick is a five-line poem in anapestic or amphibrachic meter with a strict rhyme scheme (aabba), which intends to be witty or humorous, and is sometimes obscene with humorous intent.


Without further adieu
I now give to you —
I won't even rehearse;
I'll just throw out a verse —
A Texas Limerick or two.

I hope you have half as much fun reading them as I did writing them.

Lone Star Limericks

Role Reversal

If I were you and you were me
What sort of us would the two of us be?
Would you see me the way I do?
Who would I see when I looked at you,
If I were you and you were me?


The Ranchin’ Man Blues

There was an ol’ boy from Texas
Who didn’t know where the Metroplex is.
He sat under a branch
Near a pond on his ranch
While his wife drove away in a Lexus.


What Not To Do While in Labor

There was a feller from Fort Worth
Whose momma died in childbirth;
Or so he was told,
But when he was old
He learned that she choked on a Bratwurst.

Abilene, Abiline…

There was an ol’ boy from Abilene
Who swore it was the prettiest town he’d ever seen.
Then one fine Summer day
He just moved away
And he never went back there again.

Native Son

There was a young fellow from Palestine,
Which in Texas rhymes with Abilene.
He wasn’t holy,
But was rather moley,
And had holes in the knees of his blue jeans.


Back When

There was a time back when
I thought you were my friend.
But that was your face,
Which now in its place
I see your other end.

What’s In a Name

There was a boy named Sue
Whose name was a fine how-ya-do.
It got him in fights,
And kept him up nights:
What else would a name like that do?

The Wade Phillips Era

There was a coach named Wade
Whose welcome was over-stayed.
The Crowd would have sacked him,
But the owner still backed him,
‘Til the final egg was laid.

Rhyme and Reason

There was a point in time
When I thought every poem should rhyme.
But I’m over that;
I see where it’s at.
This rhymin’ ain’t worth a dime.
The end

OK, now it is your turn. Feel free to use the comments section to this article to share your Limerick or two.