My Double Dad Blessing: A Father’s Day Card
Are you Still Looking On?
When it comes to dads, I have been doubly blessed.
First, there is the Dad I had but never appreciated until it was too late. I wish I could wish him a happy Father’s Day as a son truly grateful for the man he is, rather than as a numb skull kid who had not yet grown enough in the britches to realize what he had.
Dad is gone and he isn’t coming back.
I will catch up to him one of these days and then I will say the things that need saying, like, “I love you and I thank God for you.” Until then, while I am among the ones we call “the living,” I am determined not to miss the chances afforded me to say those things to the people within earshot.
And that brings me to the second helping of my Double Dad Blessing — the man who has called me son since I was 18 years old…and meant it. He is my father-in-law, and he has been— in every way a man can be— a Dad to me for 30 years.
Until I met Tommy Weir, I was not aware that it was possible for a man to love the one who married his daughter with every bit as much fervor and sincerity as he loved the daughter herself. Tommy has. Tommy does.
The Other Dad
Like a true son, I have put him through a heaping helping of Hell. Through all of the mistakes, missteps, stupidity, sin, selfishness, and sorrow, he has been there, loving me the way a father does a son.
In 30 years, I have never once wondered if my other dad would still love me or be there for me.
One thing about Tommy: If he loves you, you are loved…whether you like it or not. So, get used to it. Another thing about Tommy: When you need him, he will be there.
Every…single…time.
I know some of you good people never had even one dad you could be proud of or who was proud of you the way he ought to have been. I am sorry for you, especially when I consider the extra grace I was given. I think maybe some of us need it more than others. I was so much trouble, I wore one Dad out and tested the limits of another.
Thank you, Dad, for loving me as long as you could. Thank you, PaPa, for picking up where he had to leave off.
And, thank you, Father, for my Dads.
Happy Father’s Day.
April 5th, Granky Day: A Celebration of Life, Love, and Laughter
If everyone knew what a few of us do, April 5 would be a national holiday. We would call it “Granky Day.”
Granky Day would be a celebration of all the precious women who have lived holy lives, but refused to be “holier-than-thou.” It would be a day to celebrate a woman who exuded radiant beauty and modesty in equal parts. It would be a day to celebrate a woman whose femininity was only matched by her untiring work ethic. It would be a day to celebrate a woman whose laugh could make you laugh, even when the joke made no sense at all.
April 5th is my maternal Grandmother’s birthday. Her name is Nova Dean Henager. She would have been 84 this year had she not died a few years back. She celebrated in a place where they don’t mark birthdays because no one grows old. I celebrated in a quiet place in my soul, where I remembered how blessed I was to have such a guileless, beautiful person influence my life.
When she passed, one of my aunts asked me to write a piece for the commemorative brochure that would be given to all those attending her funeral. It was a great honor to me to be asked to do that.
Here is what I wrote…
And (Jesus) said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. ~Matthew 18:3
She was a wife, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, and great-great grandmother. She was a pastor’s wife, counselor, teacher, and friend— especially to those who most needed a friend. Not many called her Nova or Nova Dean. A few called her Mrs. Henager. But everyone who knew her, who really knew her, called her Granky.
The world is full of wonderful grandmothers, grannies, and grandmas. But, as far as we know, there has only ever been one Granky.
What is a Granky? A Granky is a grandmother who never let the child inside her die. A Granky is a woman with an indomitable spirit, an insatiable thirst for godliness, and an untiring devotion to God, His church, and her family. A Granky tells her famous “monkey stories” to kids, while adults gather in the shadows to listen, laugh, and remember how good it feels to be a kid. A Granky makes the world’s greatest rolls (and cinnamon rolls).
A Granky loves Christmas and summer youth camps as much as any child. A Granky is a woman of timeless beauty and simple, childlike faith. A Granky may grow old, but she doesn’t have to “grow up.” She may grow tired…and fall asleep…
But when she finally does, she wakes, refreshed, forever youthful…in the arms of her Jesus.
Happy birthday to my Granky…and to every godly woman whose life and love is a legacy your children will always revere, thank you.
Happy Granky Day.
Doctor Love’s Valentine’s Day Advice for Girls
Call Me Dr Love
Let me begin by saying I dislike Valentine’s Day and always have. I think an act of love on a random day for no particular reason has far more meaning than a bouquet of flowers, a box of candy, and a mushy card given on a day when you have no real choice but to do it.
That said, every girl loves a good valentine and my girl is no different from the rest. She loves roses, assorted chocolates and sentimental greeting cards just as much as the next girl. It is a genetic predisposition for the female of the human race.
Every girl wants to be loved. She wants to be someone’s “prettiest girl in the whole wide world.” She wants to be the apple of some man’s eye. She wants to be the princess.
But too many princesses end up with fat, selfish, warty toads. They live the fairy tale in reverse: they kissed the prince and he turned into a toad. Your main man Dr. Love is here to make some suggestions for avoiding a life with a lily-pad squatting toad…
- Beware of the “hot” guy. It is a rare thing indeed for a pretty boy to be faithful and true to one girl for a lifetime. If a guy is overly impressed with himself, he will never be overwhelmed by you. Monogamy is a difficult enough concept for the male of the species to begin with. There is not one “hot” guy in a million who can constantly be told he is gorgeous, constantly be fawned over by “hot” girls, and remain faithful to one lover.
- Look for the guy who thinks you are beautiful over the guy who thinks you are “hot.” Beauty is rare. It is precious and enduring. Beauty is love. “Hot” is lust. It is also a fleeting, flavor-of-the-month thing. Fifty years hence, you will probably not be on anyone’s “hot” list. But to some man, you will remain the embodiment of beauty.
- Remember that wealth is not a virtue, but neither is poverty. You may believe that all you need is love…until the rent comes due. Or, you may think you can live without love if the square footage is adequate. You need both security and intimacy. Don’t buy into the concept that you have to choose one or the other.
- Look for character rather than a character. He may be the life of the party, but if he has no internal compass governing his motives and guiding his actions, when they turn out the lights, the party will be over.
- If you get sick and cannot make a date and he comes over with soup from your favorite deli, if you don’t want him to see you looking like death warmed over and he ignores your complaint and comes over anyway, if he spoon feeds the soup, if he kisses your fevered forehead and doesn’t even see the dark circles under your eyes, if he says—and you know he means it—that you never looked more beautiful and he never loved you more than right then, say “I do” and live happily ever after.
True love is…
More fragrant than a dozen fresh-cut roses…
Sweeter than a box of chocolates…
Truer than the words of the finest Hallmark card…
Worth the wait.
My Thanksgiving (All Of This and Ty)
...and Ty
I am thankful…
For sorrows that pass me by
For the cleansing of a simple sigh
For Donya’s Pumpkin Pie (more almonds, please)
And Ty
I am thankful…
For the memory of friendships past
For Autumn (but it goes too fast)
For my half-empty, half-full glass
And Ty
I am thankful…
For tears I never cried
For okra when it’s fried
For the people who are on my side
And Ty
I am thankful…
For 1940 – ’91
For the man who called me son
Though he left with work undone
And Ty
I am thankful…
For troubles I never see
For daughters better than me
For freedom that isn’t free
And Ty
I am thankful…
For Tommy and Mary Lou
For Felicia and Jimbo, too
(Tell them and I will sue)
And Ty
I am thankful…
For breakfast, especially Mom’s
For the occasional trip to Tom’s
For my sisters and…okay, Don
And Ty
I am thankful…
For the woman I take for granted
For kisses yet unplanted
For a love that’s been enchanted
And Ty
I am thankful…
For Christ and Calvary
For sinners He loves, like me
For the promise of eternity
And Ty
I am thankful…
For a thousand other things
For the hope that a new day brings
For a phone that sometimes rings
And Ty
I am thankful…
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The JourneyMan by D. Gene Strother is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
Based on a work at genestrother.com.
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