The Greybeard Chronicles: Small Minds, Large Appetites

I am in a McDonald’s…in a mall…in Mobile, Alabama.

A girl with vacant eyes waits rather impatiently behind the counter for me to decide.

“I will have a Number Two, please.”

For the uninformed, that is two small cheeseburgers, fries and a drink.

“Medium or large?”

“I’m sorry?”

Might have been a slight eye roll from the order-taker about here. Not sure.

“Do you want a large Number Two or a medium Number Two?”

“What about small?”

“We don’t got small: Only medium and large.”

Don’t do it, Gene. Let it go. 

“You know, technically, you cannot have a medium if you don’t have something smaller and something bigger.”

Dadgum it! You idiot! You just had to do it.

“Excuse me?”

“There has to be a small and  a large in order for there to be a medium. Medium, by definition, is between the extremes. ”

“Not here, it’s not. We don’t got small. We only got medium and large. Which do you want, sir?”

See? You lose. Order already.

I sigh and nod.

“Of course you are right. I will take a medium Number Two.”

This time I know she rolled her eyes and all I can hear is, “Badabombombom, I’m lovin’ it.”

When I started this story, I intended to pontificate on the lessons learned from this absurd encounter at the fast food counter. But then, I thought, I am not the teacher here at all. I am the student.

So, what do you think? Any lessons come to mind?

Posted in (Gene)ric Ramblings, (Gene)tic Rantings, Greybeard Chronicles, Life Experience | Leave a comment

“Gimme a ‘B’! Gimme an ‘S’!” This Blogger Takes on Corporate Greed and Customer Satisfaction

We interrupt regularly-scheduled programming to call BS on a few business items of local and international interest…

♠First, the “Occupy Wall Street” movement and all the rancor over corporate greed is BS.

Surely, by now, you have seen the doctored photo that pretty much says it all?

If not, here it is:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

♣Second, I would like to call BS on what passes for corporate benevolence and generosity.

Don’t you love it when the place you work sells you t-shirts, charges you to dress comfortably, shames you into supporting this cause or that…all so they can garner good press?

Here’s an idea: If you own or manage some company and you feel strongly about supporting a cause, if said cause strikes a cord in your soul or hits close to home for you, then haul out your own dadgum checkbook and support it.

When it comes to money exchanging hands between employer and employee, that ought to be pretty much a one-way street.

♥Third, I am calling BS on the notion that the customer is always right.

Suppose the customer is an idiot? Or an A-hole? Or misinformed? Or just plain impossible to please? Isn’t it a travesty that a customer may be certifiably insane or dumb as a sack of hammers, but can file a complaint and land a perfectly good employee in hot water with management?

I say we equip the complaint department with IQ tests, lie detector equipment and a firing squad.

(Well, maybe not a firing squad.)

♦Fourth, I am calling BS on people that blog just because they have to get their opinion on everything out there for everyone to see.

Oh wait…

Posted in (Gene)ric Ramblings, (Gene)tic Rantings, Big Business, Personal Observation, Society | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

The Greybeard Chronicles: Will You Carry On, Sir?

“Will you carry on, sir?”

I am standing at the American Airlines ticket counter in Mobile, Alabama, getting my boarding pass so I can fly home to Dallas/Fort Worth for just the second time in nearly five months. Ordinarily, I would use the electronic check-in device, swipe my debit card, grab my boarding pass and avoid the ticket line.

But this day, I am the ticket line. So, I saunter to the counter.

I hand my driver’s license to the pleasant woman in the familiar airlines-issued uniform and wait. Her fingers furiously assault the computer keyboard for a couple seconds, then she nods to the oversized duffel bag hanging from my shoulder.

“Will you carry on, sir?”

The question strikes me funny. It’s as if the woman has seen right through my eyes like they are the windows to the soul some people claim they are. Her question seems deeper and more earnest an inquiry than she had any idea it would be.

How could she know my recent struggles with homesickness? How could she know how close I had come to packing my bags and heading home? How could she know how hard it would be to spend just 48 hours at home before returning to this very place?

But there it is: The question each of us must face. When the road is rough or simply leads us places we hadn’t planned to go, when the requirements of life require more than we feel prepared to give, when circumstances conspire to challenge your mettle, your resolve, your will…

“Will you carry on, sir?”

“Yes, Ma’am. I will.”

“So, you will not be checking any baggage?”

(Who is this woman? Some angel unawares, sent to ask me these soul-searching questions when all I want to do is go home?)

Again, the question feels weightier than she means it to be. The truth is I have baggage and plenty of it. The baggage I carry is mostly why I am at this ticket counter in the first place: The baggage of poor decisions, wrong turns and missed windows of opportunity.

But I am not unique. Show me the pentagenarian with no baggage and I will kiss your foot.

We all have baggage.

Now, you can check that baggage, but not at an American Airlines ticket counter. You can check it at the foot of an Old Rugged Cross. You can get Jesus’ blood-stained stamp of forgiveness, hope and peace. You can cast upon Him your cares and rest in the knowledge that He cares for you.

However, letting the Prince of Peace valet your baggage will not likely change the fact that you will occasionally find yourself in a tight spot or feeling misplaced.

Will you carry on?

 

Posted in (Gene)ric Ramblings, Greybeard Chronicles, Life Experience, Personal Observation | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

The Greybeard Chronicles: 50 Years of Sowing and Reaping

Listen up, kids! A half century goes by faster than you think.

One minute, you’re doing a cannonball in the Brazos River. The next, you’re praying your wife does not put fifty candles on that carrot cake: Not just because of the potential wildfire they may ignite or the fact that you could singe your eyebrows while extinguishing them, but because, at this stage of your life, you need to save your breath for other things…like breathing.


About 30 years ago or so, I was given a signed copy of the autobiography of one of my all-time favorite preachers: Dr. B.R. Lakin. It meant a great deal to me because it was the great evangelist himself that gave it to me as a thank you for having found his misplaced medication. He was on in years by that time and had left the pill bottle in the restroom shortly before going to the pulpit of the Westridge Baptist Church to thunder the gospel to a thousand or so preachers.

It was a great night for this young preacher boy.

But that’s another story. The only reason I bring it up is because of the title of the book. Written by Kenny McComas (another mighty pulpiteer and friend of mine), the book was titled, “50 Years of Plowing, Planting, Sowing and Reaping.”


Now that I have put 50 years of sowing and reaping into the books, I can attest that every seed sown is part of the harvest. Not a single breath, word or deed is without consequence.

I have sometimes sown the wind and reaped the whirlwind. I have sown wild oats and lived with the bitter aftertaste. I have sown seeds in thorny places and been ripped to shreds hacking my way out of the resulting briar patch.

I have learned and lived this truth again and again: “Whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.”

This truth is universal, inescapable, inevitable. It is woven into the fabric of God’s universe. It is absolute and absolutely true.


I thank God that not every seed I have sown was the kind that brings regret and grief. Some have brought a harvest of love, joy and peace. Like that one I planted in 1980 at a little altar in Arlington, Texas, when I said, “I do.” That vow has served me well for 31 years and counting and has blessed me to be the proud possessor of the eternally beautiful Donya Strother. Three beautiful daughters, a super-cool grandson and a lifetime later, I am still reaping a mighty harvest.

It was a good decision.

I am also glad I listened to Nelda Day, a deacon’s wife in the first church I served as youth minister.

She said, “You should meet my son, Keith. He needs to be in church and I know you two would hit it off.”

We did hit it off, like Jonathan and David of old.

In fact, we still do.

Keith and Debbie and Donya and I have had adventures all across this great land. Friends like them do not come along every day. In fact, friends like them almost never come along at all.

I am glad for the time I invested in churches in Turlock, California and Paris, Texas. They produced some of the best memories and sweetest friends I have ever known and will ever know.

I am glad to have had a part in the development of young ministers like Curtis Blake, Kenneth Terrell and Kevin Terrell. Those boys have become real men— men of God.


You can pack plenty of living into 50 years.

I have tumped over tombstones in Strawn, Texas and preached the gospel to 5,000 souls in Greenville, South Carolina. I have hopped a train in Mineral Wells, bungy jumped in Dallas and eaten every fried thing imaginable. And I have had more than my share of Dublin Dr. Pepper.

I am talking about living, man.

I have been “honey” to a world-class beauty, “Daddy” to three magnificent daughters, and “DooDah” to one incredible little boy.

With my own eyes, I have witnessed the miracle of birth and the somber silence of the dead.

I can say with the Psalmist, “I have been young, and now am (not so young); yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread.”

I have sown. I have reaped. And I am still doing both.

Posted in Greybeard Chronicles, In(Gene)ious Insights, Life Experience, Love, Relationships | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment