ron-burgundy-memeI have to tell you. Lately, I have felt dumber than a Democrat.

The trouble started when people began using the acronym ICYMI. I could not figure out for the life of me what that crazy collection of letters stood for. I was, however, determined to use my considerable deductive reasoning skills to crack the code. Surely, I would see it in context enough times on Facebook, Twitter and text to ascertain the meaning of this elusive and sinister collection of letters.

Alas, I have been unable to do so. Despite running into the troublesome eye sore on a daily basis, I could not make the letters make sense. Blame it on the four traumatic concussions I have suffered in my lifetime, one of which I can still show you the jagged scar across my head, where 28 stitches were required to keep my brain from showing. Blame it on early signs of Dementia. Blame it on old-school literacy. Blame it on age.

Blame it on Reno.

Heck, blame whomever you will.

This morning, I relented and turned to the all-seeing, all-knowing Google geeks. Yeah, I googled it. Imagine the shame, the sense of utter failure when I saw the simple and oh-so-obvious answer. Instead of feeling like Alan Turing, cracking the Nazis’ codes, I felt like I just cheated on a first grade spelling quiz.

I had to just SMH and LMAO at myself for being so obtuse. IDK.

LOL!

But seriously, haven’t these acronyms gone too far? I mean, you can’t just go around turning every phrase into an acronym. It’s upsetting. You make old school fools like me, who actually learned to read and write the English language, feel obsolete, isolated and…I will say it again, obtuse. We feel DTABOR when you make up these acronyms and spring them on us. We just want to SYTYEPO.

You have to spell things out for us.

I know you can do it, if you try.

 

PS: If you think I am going to tell you what those last two acronyms mean, you are BUTWT, pal.

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Copyright 2013 The Journey Man


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By Gene

I am a lover, a fighter, and a midnight writer. I love football, hamburgers, and philosophical inquiries. I love Jesus more than any of that. I love my wife, my daughters, my grandson, and my English Setters, Huck and Finn. I also love Huck Finn...and other seminal characters in American literature. Like Gus McCrae. I love the English language. I love to dive into the wonders of its depth and splash around in the shallow end where colloquialisms and slang rule and reign.
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